Wow, now 8 years later, he's reaching out to you, making calls, sending a gift of a doll, spending time with Geoffery and having him send you birthday greetings. Trying to place myself in his (distorted) "shoes", and looking at the clues, he's letting you know that you have been the only person he has ever felt intimate or so close with. The bathroom call was a dead give away.... think about it. Could the doll a way of reaching your more sensitive side, hoping to start a small apology, or just being "cute?" He has to know, you know, who it is.... he knows you are an intelligent woman.
I have to say, when I read your post, a memory came back to me from Dick. Out of the blue, he said to me "You never fought for us." In that moment, he sounded so distraught, and frightened, much like a little boy. Now, why would this memory come gurgling up while I was reading your post? Well, maybe because your xh is experiencing similar resentment/questions/feelings. It's obvious he knows your schedule, by the times you receive the calls.... Just out of reach, but not coming in on your days off... so what is he doing on those days? Is he sitting by and watching you? I wonder what would happen if you took off for a weekend, and weren't home, would he be calling on those days?
You know, Dick talks about me to S.... Dick gets a complete fill of information just by a few words given to him by S. I know it's a way for him to feel close and connected. Oh sure, he continues to bad mouth me to S, but I realize he is still trying to bring me down to his level, so he can feel comfortable with his quasi connection. It's also a way of him keeping one step ahead of me too, so that he can keep me from moving forward, and living my/our own life and being successful.
Five years ago, he could have been a hero by turning this all around, choosing to make amends and doing the work to heal the family, but now, all I see are desperate and sick attempts to remain connected to the only real family he has ever known.
Yes, I have to fully agree with you.... the more he/they act this way, the less and less I want anything to do with him.
Sounds like we both have some interesting weeks/months ahead.
Please be good to yourself, know that you are loved.
God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
