When's it my turn?

[SDFoundGirl]

My Spidey senses are tingling...have been for the past few days. Something is up.

I asked H if we were okay or if something was wrong. He's just replied that he was hot (we had record heat here) or tired or whatever. Hot and tired, hot and tired. But...well, I've learned to trust that intuition I have. It's never, and I really DO mean never, wrong.

I've managed to keep my brain from creating crazy stories about it--a HUGE improvement for me--until now. I pull up from work after going to the grocery store. I'm tired. H is just leaving, looking all bright eyed and bushy tailed. He comes over to tell me he's going out with his co-workers for drinks to celebrate one of them leaving and finding a new job. I'm not invited. He's all energy and gushing and happy. And so he leaves, leaving me with these darn heavy grocery bags and knowing stupid LW will be there.

IT JUST FREAKING PISSES ME OFF BECAUSE I HAVEN'T HAD AN ISSUE WITH THE WHORE IN MY BRAIN FOR MONTHS!

So now I'm battling stories in my head and I'm pissed and tired and I want to cry. I've SO been loving going back to work and being with my kiddos...been on such a high these past couple of days...and now this.

And it's crazy, I know this. And I'll be fine no matter what, I know this. But I'm hurt right now and it helps to see the crazy laid out in black and white.

I won't do it a second time guys. I'll walk away and let him destroy himself financially and emotionally. I'll do it and I won't look back.

SD