[forward]

I think my H is ashamed of where he is in life right now. He wanted to be much more successful than he has been. Yet he has not taken initiative and risks and has spent probably the past 2+ years complaining about things like having to commute 4 hours a week (which, as most of you recognize, isn't really much).

He once said "I'd be nothing without you," which I thought was an unhealthy statement. At the same time he blames me and anytone else within reach for his lack of success, criticizes how I care for the baby, etc.. On some levels I think he is jealous of me.

I don't know if H has the fortitude to come through this or if he is going to envelop himself in endless self-pity. I don't know if he has what it takes to rebuild a marriage and he may simply choose to take the easy way out. I could see him trying and the minute it has to be difficult, giving up.

OW is very needy and H has a history of being attracted to overly needy people. There is a "helping" thing there but also a control issue (OW is probably easy to control). It means he doesn't have to deal with someone with real opinions.

Yet I feel this is partly why he rejected me--I needed him. Maybe my vulnerability being pregnant and having a baby scared him.