I disagree. I would point out to you that there is nothing but speculation in regards to her not being interested in control. Her *actions* throughout your marriage prove that assertion false on its face. I don't believe there was a single item in that post that I believe to be accurate. I saw a lot of unsubstantiated suppositions dealing with underlying motivations that are far removed from the reality you have described.
Since that “other post” you refer to is my post, I did not say that she was not interested in control. I said she is and she isn’t interested in control, it depends on how you look at it. Her actions throughout the marriage are very contradictory. It seems to me her reactions are more in line with exacting revenge than in consistently trying to assert control. Sometime they are, sometimes they aren’t. She does not initiate actions that are meant to get control. She reacts to something HD has done. Whether her reaction is justified or appropriate is another matter, but I do not see her actively trying to find a way to manipulate the M to get control. There is a BIG difference.
Frankly, when you start using my children as some sort of weapon against me - I view that as a declaration of war.
I don’t think MrsHD said anything about using the kids as a weapon and I don’t think it was a declaration of war. This was your interpretation and your knee jerk reaction. To you it may have sounded like war, and I am sure you have a long list of reason why you are correct in seeing it that way. But that is not what she said. I see no reason to think MrsHD will be any more consistent with this statement than she has been in the past. She knows her own inconsistency and she also knows that this statement is hollow as well. She also knows that HD knows her statement is hollow and that he should not take it seriously, so therefore she feels free to say it (if you can follow that twisted logic).
She is a functioning lawyer. That tells me she has a good head on her shoulders and can think very logically. If she were completely nuts or psycho I doubt the law firm would keep her on very long. There would be way too much risk for them and lawyers do not like risk.
Raising the threat level of this M to war status will create the war, no doubt about it. That puts HD in a tough spot because MrsHD knows the only way for HD to get around this is to risk war, which she knows he does not want to do. So are you people on this board, who have so much experience working with relationships, saying the only two alternatives HD has are to either shut up and let her control everything, or go to war? Do you really think that is the only way to deal with this? Jeeez. Get real people.
