I disagree. I would point out to you that there is nothing but speculation in regards to her not being interested in control. Her *actions* throughout your marriage prove that assertion false on its face. I don't believe there was a single item in that post that I believe to be accurate. I saw a lot of unsubstantiated suppositions dealing with underlying motivations that are far removed from the reality you have described.
Since that “other post” you refer to is my post, I did not say that she was not interested in control. I said she is and she isn’t interested in control, it depends on how you look at it. Her actions throughout the marriage are very contradictory. It seems to me her reactions are more in line with exacting revenge than in consistently trying to assert control. Sometime they are, sometimes they aren’t. She does not initiate actions that are meant to get control. She reacts to something HD has done. Whether her reaction is justified or appropriate is another matter, but I do not see her actively trying to find a way to manipulate the M to get control. There is a BIG difference.
Frankly, when you start using my children as some sort of weapon against me - I view that as a declaration of war.
I don’t think MrsHD said anything about using the kids as a weapon and I don’t think it was a declaration of war. This was your interpretation and your knee jerk reaction. To you it may have sounded like war, and I am sure you have a long list of reason why you are correct in seeing it that way. But that is not what she said. I see no reason to think MrsHD will be any more consistent with this statement than she has been in the past. She knows her own inconsistency and she also knows that this statement is hollow as well. She also knows that HD knows her statement is hollow and that he should not take it seriously, so therefore she feels free to say it (if you can follow that twisted logic).
She is a functioning lawyer. That tells me she has a good head on her shoulders and can think very logically. If she were completely nuts or psycho I doubt the law firm would keep her on very long. There would be way too much risk for them and lawyers do not like risk.
Raising the threat level of this M to war status will create the war, no doubt about it. That puts HD in a tough spot because MrsHD knows the only way for HD to get around this is to risk war, which she knows he does not want to do. So are you people on this board, who have so much experience working with relationships, saying the only two alternatives HD has are to either shut up and let her control everything, or go to war? Do you really think that is the only way to deal with this? Jeeez. Get real people.
So are you people on this board, who have so much experience working with relationships, saying the only two alternatives HD has are to either shut up and let her control everything, or go to war? Do you really think that is the only way to deal with this?
Something about all of this just does not feel right to me.... I hear what you all are saying, and I'm holding back throwing my hat into the ring with any opinions I might have... because...
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.... something about all of this just does not feel right to me. It might be part of what Lil was saying, that once Mrs. HD begins to sense that the changes HD is making are actually authentic, and he really GETS it, she is going to amp up her counter moves... I agree with Lil, actually... I'm not surprised in the least. Every woman here can sense the change in HD... so of course she would, too...
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.... but that just isn't covering the whole notion that something about all of this just does not feel right to me...
I also think HD is a great dad, and he has intervened and protected his children plenty of times, in other instances with Mrs. HD... I'm not worried that he won't NOT handle it as he sees fit.
I think HD needs more info. Something in how she is reacting is manic... even more so than her usual...
But... I could be completely wrong... dunno... hmmm...
Kind of a hypocrite coming from a man that has thrown his wife in jail, vacations alone and initiates talks with his wife even when she doesn't want to. Who has alienated her from his family and went above and beyond on many things she was against. Hmmmmm
Your advice to others doesn't seem to fall through with how you apply it in your marriage.
Also HD I have to garee with the others about the boundary when it comes to your children. When I married my husband I had 2 kid's. I can't say lost of great things about my husband right now. But I can say one great thing. He has been the best stepdad in the world. They to him are his own children. They call him dad and love him very much. Even though we had two children together we are one family united. There is no difference at all. But believe me if things were different I would have set boundaries. She really sounds like a hateful person. I am sure this causes tension with the ex wife expecially if the kid's feel the way they are treated there by her.
BTW do your eyes really turn green? I ask because mine are hazel but turn green when I am horny and bright vivid green when I am raging mad. I remember when I lost my mind one day, and x decided to leave OM abode with me.
She looked at my eyes... not in... but at my eyes and said... Your eyes are so green right now, are you horny? and \:\/ at me.
and it hit me. she thought it was funny. (not when we were in the house though.)
Done. Game over.
Wow. Huh. There was way more of a power struggle going on between you two than I had ever considered. And I'm REALLY wondering now if she knew you as well as you think she did.
More to throw on the hindsight pile. Just observances... nothing more.
