Steel, If I were facing this issue, I would go with number 1.
If you confront her, she very well may take the easy way out and say goodbye and I've file for divorce. When confronted, they almost always take the easy way out and it's not what you want to hear. The more you push, the harder she'll run the other way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
