It seems as if you started off as a WAW, and your husband DB'd the heck out of you (basically turned the tables) He showed that he was not about to chase you, and he continued on with his life.
This took you out of your position as a WAW and he is now the WAH, He has all the power because you are the one who wants him back.
I think this is off base a bit. Her H hasn't really DB'd her at all. Now he may have stopped chasing (in other words backing off). And maybe the power is shifting a little. WAW did say she felt maybe her H had given up and moved on, and expressed some concern/hurt over that possibility. But to say the roles have reversed where he is the WAS and she is the LBS is, IMO, a lot more unlikely than likely. He may be detaching. He may be moving on. But it could be a lot more than that. (Could be, I stress. We can't really know, I don't think.)
Yeah I hope my post was not misconstrued, I am just going with my gut here, and from what I read. You are right it could be a myriad of things, just giving my opinion that's all. I just know that when my wife walked away that my first instinct was to make her suffer so bad that she would want to come back, and If I saw her sufferering then I would know that it was working and I would obviously keep it up til I got her back, like I said that was my first reaction (totally out of hurt and anger, and pure foolishness) I decided that was not the route for me, and had it been my route it would not have worked anyways, I picked up DB, and DR very early on in my process and have been implenting it ever since, and have seen great improvements
the reason I fear for WAW in this situation, is that I beleive that her husband may have gone off this first instinct, and when he saw it working he kept going. Im not sure if WAW was totally done and ready to move on when she decided too. My wife definitely was. LIke I said I could be wrong, and I hope I am, regardless either way it does not mean there is no longer hope, there is alot of hope. I really hope you don't give up, but of course only you can determine when you've had enough WAW.
Originally Posted By: Nomopo
He could be giving her the time and space she needs.
you are right he definitely could be, but to me it really does not sound like it, I personally am trying to give my wife time and space, and it is the hardest thing I have ever done, he seems to have other motives, not that this is a bad thing, and I am not trying to bring negativity to the sitch at all, just offering a different perspective, and maybe help you form a new way to look at this. I beleive if he were trying to give time and space, he would be more loving, and looking to see if it is working. It just seems like a role reversal I could be wrong but I just get that nagging feeling, am I alone on this.
Originally Posted By: Nomopo
Personally, I doubt seriously he has moved on.
I doubt it very much as well, I think he wants this marriage to work more than ever, just that he wants it on his terms, and he is not willing to bow down, or to succomb to what he thinks are WAW games. I think he would love nothing more for you to come home say I am sorry for leaving, and will try to understand that you were right.
I think that is very messed up for someone to think, but for someone who is uneducated in relationships, marriages, love languages, and who chooses not to learn, then it can be understandable. before I educated myself I could seem myself doing the same thing, hoping she would come back.
It would be great if he picked up a copy of DB and started reading but he just doesn't want too, that doesn't mean he doesn't want the marriage but I think he is trying to get it back the only way he knows how and is not open to the possibility of trying something different.
