Well, the "hope" part is definitely correct. But associating it with the fact that we had sex back in May somehow changed the "rule" is not right. Yes, I hoped she would react with a moan of pleasure, rather than a "WTF?" But there's no reality in our history which would suggest that such a positive outcome would occur, beyond the very early days of our sexual relationship. Hope springs eternal? Or, "shake the cage and create some conflict?" Or, "just a quick squeeze to see if it still feels wonderful and hope she doesn't wake up?" Maybe some of all of those...maybe something else.
Hairdog,
One of the things I've had to come to grips with is that I may never have actually been in love with my wife. I was, rather, in love with my IMAGE of my wife -- as I wished she would be.
Does that make any sense?
Could it be that the woman that you are in love with is an image inside of your head of how you project her . .. how you wish she would be?
With me, it was that I have been in love with (and putting up with) my image of what Mrs. Choc. could be, if only I were (take your pick from among the following): nicer, more helpful around the house, more successful financially, more romantic, phrased things just so, funnier, a better father, etc., etc. In other words, I felt that if I would JUST figure out how to be PERFECT, that the woman that I then projected in my head would be SO happy, that I would love her SO MUCH!
I dunno, maybe that helps you, maybe it's psychobabble. I just know it helped me.
