That comment about not putting any more $$ into your children's college fund was really mean, and soooooo beside the point.
True, but it is also the typical narcissistic power play bluff. It is meant to do one thing and one thing only, to make her feel in control of the situation AT THAT MOMENT. It has no bearing on anything extending further out than a day or two. After all her huff and puff about not trusting HD, the next day she then goes and asks where he went to sleep. Completely contradictory to her earlier statements, right?
You guys need to tweak your view of MrsHD just a little. She is and is not all about control. She needs control to keep a current argument from blowing up and to keep a perceived threat from escalating. Beyond that she has no desire for control. In fact, I think that she thinks she would rather be left alone, which is why she thinks she is so sacrificing and HD is the one who is selfish and controlling.
A traumatized person does not plan for the future. S/he lives only in the present and from day to day. So how can she plan manipulation further out than that? And as for cutting off the college funding or otherwise taking revenge through the kids – more bluff. I recommend that HD just let things be and see if MrsHD does anything. In that way he calls her bluff. She will then have to deal with her own guilt if she does anything spiteful. I bet she considers herself a very moral and ethical person. So she will be in a bind if she follows through on her word. She will also know that HD will have something to hold over her head and that is one bit of power she is just NOT going to let him have. In this way, she is self controlling. Just ignore all the noise coming out of her. If HD jumps, that will be just what she wants. HD’s best response to crazy statements like that is to look her in the eye, yawn (not laugh), and say “Whatever. Is there any leftover dessert from last night?”
