Btw, hairdog, I wasn't trying to say "why does he put up with her" in my earlier post. I understand why you married her, and I even understand why you're still with her. I actually think (this is said with no sarcasm whatsoever) that Ms Hairdog sounds like a really interesting woman. In fact, I believe I'd be a lot like her, if I were married to you (again, no sarcasm intended).
The way to handle someone like me is to be iron-firm in your boundaries or I will walk all over you with pointy high-heeled shoes. Not because I'm insecure, or have abandonment issues, but because you let me. If I rejected my husband more than three or four times for sex without a Very Good Excuse he would say "never mind then", and MEAN it. Sex would be OVER with a capital O. I never tested this, but I KNOW it. I'm HD most of the time but I've had LD periods in my marriage, just like most people (kids, work, tired, etc) but I've never ACTED LD. And that's only one example out of many.
He does what he wants, when he wants it, and how he wants it. He's actually quite willing to compromise if approached in a reasonable manner, but will always do his thing his way. And he lets me do my things my way. And that is actually the only way to live with someone like me. Cats will play with helpless "mices" (insert Gollum voice). If they pounce on a dog who just stares at them and keep walking, they will eventually look for something else to amuse them. We're resourceful critters. *smirk*
That said, the kid thing is a low blow. Kids are sacrosanct topics, and not even in my most cat-like moments have I used a SO's kids as a weapon of war. Wanna start drawing boundaries? Draw one there, just like Mrs Nop said. A man who doesn't protect his kids, no matter what, cannot be trusted to protect his woman from herself. And darn, does she ever need it.
