I hear you. In fact, I had troubling remembering all we talked about while trying to put this post together. At the time, the subjects just sort of flowed from one to another and as we went along, they started to come together for me. I think this issue with her dad is THE main problem that is holding us back. I have thought so for years but until now have not been able to piece it together in my mind.
This idea about my W listening to her dad's voice and how it affects her view was really the only new idea in our discussion. Most everything else was old subject matter rehashed. So even though there was a lot, I don't think she went blank. The other thing is that I have tried to not have these discussions in a long time. I can't remember when we had our last major talk. We have had some ongoing talks that might last 15-20 minutes, but that's about it. Whenever things start to get too heated, we just drop it. So I am hopeful that we might have made some progress last week.
Yes, she is definitely confused about how she feels toward men and relationships, at least with regard to how her views fit in with other people's views (especially mine). She was quite clear in how she thought SHE saw things. But she is not a big picture person, does not take time to analyze things (since she is ADD) and had no clue as to the contradictions in her own views. I could see those plain as day, but she just couldn't see what she couldn't see.
I will try to bring up this whole issue in another week or so to see where she stands on it and if it still makes sense to her or not. My suspicion is that some of it will have become jumbled again, but as long as she recognizes that she is listening to contradictory voices, that might be enough.
