One volley makes a game, a set and a match, huh. Lol.

congratulations mojo, Lil has declared you the winner. and here I didnt even know we were in a competition. I thought we were just trading understanding. sheesh. men are always one step behind. LOL.


it would be best if you kept the wolf part of your psyche away from my zoo.

Yeah, if you judge me by my actions, we obviously agree on that. Dont try to read my mind about something you are so vulnerable about. You will be wrong.

The kind of guy who is a sweet-talker and a tease and never serious Nod. I know guys like that.

I don't know why you and Lou feel the need to declare yourselves non-f*ck&fleers I didnt. I said Im no longer a F and F. They women are. Since you said you didnt understand the masculine urge to F and F I was hoping if I related feminine instances of F and F you could inform me. apparantly since I am consorting with your baby sister, its because they will fall in love with me after the second time. ..... OK, that fits with princess lawyer. She probably thought she was dumb slumming. Not very astute. Of course that means women want to hit it and quit it then. But I am a jerk for..... I dont know....what am I a jerk for? Making her masochistic?

Rude monkey. Bunny in a chicken suit. Duh.... I guess. we will see. if this bothers him. Of course if you hide the bunny in a monkey suit, you may create a false impression and expectation....

You know what tan women and chicken have in common? the white parts are best. \:\/

I should let you know that despite her appearance when casually attired, she is a huge fan of Jane Austen and didn't have sex with anyone for six months after the end of a recent 5 year relationship because as she said "I always fall in love with anyone I have sex with more than twice."

Really. Doesnt sound like the type to F and F then, unless... the first time I was stalked and devoured, I was taken aback. I knew what I was seeing, but I wasnt expecting to see it in a chola package with a shaved head and raiders ball cap. Its amazing what they can hide under those baggy dickies. apparently the story goes her previous gf, broke up with her and shaved her head when she was sleeping.
I actually had to confer with some of the waitresses to verify, Is this what I think it is? I know, Im slow. I do my best.
I think it freaked them out a little more then it did me.
funny what our beliefs do to our perceptions...

Really what I'm trying to wrap my mind around recently is why vulnerability is attractive, sexually and otherwise, and how being vulnerable is different from being weak. It's like vulnerable is to weak as strong is to hardened.

Nod. Sounds reasonable. Thats actually good to hear for two reasons.
1. There is hope.
2. a.It means Im not attractive, and thus b. they are just using me as I thought from their F and Fing.

It struck me oddly when you indicated that I possibly wasn't "making love" to NG. Do you understand that it is the cow part of my psyche that makes love to a man? I would feel like a heinous unnatural cold-hearted b*tch if I didn't bring some cow to bed with me but in a way it is true that my cow isn't really present currently

Possibly? haha. your funny. Yep. I sure do Understand. Tricky isnt it. Because you are not a cold- hearted heinous b*tch, are you? But your still not bringing the cow.

Thats why I, let them cuddle/dont tell them to leave/dont care if they stay/am unsuprised when they dine and dash. They cow is easily felt. If she wants to bring it she can. If she doesnt, thats her choice too. I cant imagine the level of freakout that would occur if I ML, instead of just thoroughly Fed.

So when I do all wolf -- out of awareness of their tendancies, and dont sweat it when they F and F, Im actually - a jerk, but when a woman says she only wants wolf and witholds the cow to protect herself, she is a peach.

Did I get that right? \:\)

My relationship with NG is doomed for obvious reasons

you keep saying this, but to me its not obvious why...
Rude monkey. Bunny in a chicken suit. Duh....
Ok duh doesnt help me any. Youve been doing that and it hasnt seemed to bother him so far. what with him breaking the code and all that.

I made myself fall out of love or infatuation with NG because I have trust issues. Really? Is that a version of F and F?
Since I havent violated the code of ML, can I get out of jerksville now?
If not thats ok. x said I belonged here too. I think if I ML to a woman I might do it because I was 'in' love with her. or in my case, choosing to. Actually I sorta did. Lets call her ....JC. JC, maintains contol at all times by being sensuous, languorous, professional, performing, which is probably assisted by her constant state of ..zen... She is in control, she does it her way. Im not allowed to be gentle, considerate, what I would consider a return of sensuosness, and I am not allowed to flip her and ravage her into senselessness. Did that one night, she disappeared for over a month. sigh.

Hopefully, we can figure this sh*t out before we wreak too much more havoc on the unsuspecting dating or wandering across parking lot in lesbian attire populace.
Since I have moved to-- here, they are all some variation of, she came up and did something unavoidably blatant.

here is the most current one. I go to the grocery store for ice cream, since I go thru about 5 gallons a week. between produce and ice cream, im always at the grocery.
I head to the checkout and notice what at first glance appears to be a dyke. huge jeans, wife beater, biceps, delts, black bra, chopped and erratically braided short angry hair, no makeup, incredible face, barely notice but then I get 'the look' and unintentionally I do 'the nod'. shake it off, get in line and she gets in line no longer pushing, but pulling her fairly empty cart. until she is right. on. top. of. me. touching.back of hands. shoulder to arm. apparently we are together.
bf:do you like ice cream.
f: what kind. [stare]
bf: does it really matter.[eyebrow] its ice cream.
f: it could [allready on top of me, moves closer (why yes your breasts are nice, thank you)] looks at 'ice cream'
bf: do you want to bring your stuff to my place or do you want to leave it here?
f: Im not finished yet anyways, Ill get it later.
done.

so. Im a jerk. ICHI.

I consciously chose not to take that vow. I wanted an escape clause.
good to know. My mom told me the same thing a while back. after she told me to not leave when x began making herself avail. She was pretty religious, anti D at one time, but said, every time she got married, she thought, if it doesnt work I can always get a D. I never thought that.
good to know. Gotta know the rules the opposing team is using, if you want to be on an even field.

I cant be trusted.... to tell someone that their *ss really does look fat in their new jeans. I have a really good example of the fact, I can be trusted to tell a woman exactly that, which I was going to post to AC, that occurred during our first seperation. Ill be happy to share it.

However, if I made a simple vow to MYSELF that I would choose to love and desire someone forever, no matter what my feelings were, I would have to keep that vow or I would never be able to trust MYSELF again in any important way. I would be a broken person.

hmm. you dont make a vow to yourself. that particular vow to yourself would show a serious lack of self awareness. Desire is not a choice. I vow that I will always feel happy.... no.. doesnt work.
I vow that I will not want to go home when drunk... no doesnt work.
I vow that I will not drink and drive. Yep. That I can do.

you make a vow to the other person. sickness health yada yada. There is no vow to have feelings like desire. feelings are not controllable, so I cant imagine telling myself I would or would not feel. I know desire will come and go. It did long before our wedding.

Since I KNOW what I will do in any given situation, I trust myself pretty well. I didnt know I would work to repair the M the first time. I KNOW I wont the next time.
I knew I would be succesful, once I chose to repair it. I trusted in myself. the time line suprised me. I may lose control of my emotions again (internally- I am human ) but my actions will be even tighter then they were last time. When she makes herself available (strutting her stuff) I wont wait three months to see what she is going to do. Last time someone talked me out of *snapping*. (mom-not her fault, my decision, learned alot. thanks mom. :hug:) Told me I didnt know what would happen. \:\/ Now I do know. I may not be perfectly differentiated internally, emotions affect me, but at least my actions can be. So although I moaned and groaned here the second time from the pain of jamming the images in my brain several times a day, and ruminating on the negative whenever she came around, to keep from 'fixing it', at least my actions viewed by IRL people, were spot on.


[b] I just never really took the vow to choose to love him no matter what forever and ever. I consciously chose not to take that vow. I wanted an escape clause. b]

I dont want to talk about your M, or I would have been using it for applicable examples. I mentioned that. I want you to print this and post it on your monitor.
BF says: Mojo. I dont have a problem with your D. You worked at your M, really hard. You never cheated on him. He actually abandoned you. I would pat your bunny, but all I have are these teeth.

The first sentence is a good idea. I sure the heck wouldnt. Thats why its a choice.
As for an escape clause, we all have one. Its called D.

Thats why modern day marriages have no ONE up person. The only way someone can have all the power, is if the other person wants them to have it.

I understand it, but I dislike the referances to getting the power. Neither spouse has any more power then the other, unless they give it away. A woman wanting the man to have 'the power' is all about what she wants, and not owning her desire, in exactly the same manner that the man wants to see the woman as innocent. Its ego desire, not reality. She is not innocent. He does not have all the power. We are not equal, but we are even.