IMP, We're not talking about the surviving spouses here; I think those of us that are participating have pretty well demonstrated that we know how to survive, and we're going to be just fine, thank ya very much. We are having a discussion about our spouses and why this may be happening to them. We find it interesting. If you think we are wasting our time, you don't have to play along. Go start yourself a "you will be ok and you control your destiny" thread; we'll post recipes...
And the distinction in what you describe and what happened to my husband is that your story starts at 6. And in fact, even though you suffered a disappointment in your twenties, what your story reveals is that you had a father who took a very keen interestin in you and inspired you through different means to make something of yourself and showed that he had an interest in your future.
My husband's neglect, on the other hand, started at birth....his mother either didn't have the time or by her fourth, didn't have the inclination, to love him and nurture him. She threw him in with the pack to "self-raise". His father was so angry and beaten down by that time, that he basically ignored him, unless it was to be pissed off at him.
That's what angelica and I were posting about earlier, this notion that this relatively benign comment by his mother touched off this downward spiral...it touched it off because starting from the time he was an infant, he was deprived of his mother's love and the nurturing and security that children must receive very early on in order to grow up without inherent insecurity.
