I must say that reading that made me cringe a little, because I see a lot of how you handle R convos in me. As I kept reading and reading I realized that I (and maybe you too, but only you can be the judge) talk about too much. Its like the professor who introduces too many topics in lecture. At some point the students tune out because they can't process anymore, and if you keep going, you actually start making them lose information because they are trying too hard to stay focused on what they do know. Does that make any sense? I've found that I can almost to a 100% level trace back commonly missed questions on tests to lectures in which I just put way too much info into one session.
From your description it does seem very much that your W is in a state of massive confusion about how she really feels about M, male/female dynamics, and such. Another thing I have noticed is that when students get really confused, they won't listen at all to new information, no matter how straightforward. They'll sit there and nod their head as if in agreement, and even answer questions coherently, but nothing is going in.
Perhaps something you could try is to get her to talk in detail (maybe over several sessions) about her specific feelings on specific points. Being the thoroughly organized person you are, perhaps you could come up with some hypothetical scenarios to talk about that would not only be illustrative of specific points (rather than being too general) but would also remove the personal "taint" a bit because they wouldn't directy relate to her experiences. Sure, she could and probably will still personalize, but maybe if she could step a little outside herself she could loosen a little bit.
JMHO
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
