Yikes! You have gone through a lot!!! {{{Hugs}}} My suggestion to you is read, reread, and reread the DB, DR books, this website, etc....
It sounds like you are doing great things for yourself. Working out will help with the endorphins...keep up them 6-pack abs!!!! Yeeeeeeah!!! With the depression, all the 180s and focusing on you might be a really great thing. I know you want your family back, but it sounds like you have some personal things to attend to. Like taking better care of you, working on PMA (positive mental state), GALing (beyond work!!!), and finding little things that bring you happiness...
Regarding the ASD and you being screened... give me a break!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, I understand techies tend to share some of those characteristics and perhaps 90% of you people are probably on the very VERY high end of the spectrum (and everyone else has a little of something... ADHD, OCD, etc... we ALL have a little of some type of thing or other... I'm sure I could look at your wife and come up with a few labels for her too). By the way, I have a son with HF autism too. Whenever I think of these labels I think of the movie Forrest Gump and how his mother refused to have him labeled.
One more thing... detachment. That's crucial at this point. Emotionally detach. There is good information on this website about that. You need to stop trying to talk your wife out of her decisions. You need to PMA and let go of "the leash." Let her do what she needs to do and agree with that. Hopefully you can go into separation for awhile prior to actually filing for divorce. I think you both need time...her to get over anger and you to work though depression.
Is there anyway you can get out of that cell phone situation and have the bill sent to her?
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
