You say that what you are saying is speculation. That is one of the reason I speculate very little. If there is one thing I know, it is that I don't know much about any particular situation. I haven't seen the spouse. I never heard their side. So I just don't now. Maybe you weren't that good a spouse. Maybe you took your spouse for granted. Maybe you didn't see the signs when you first married. I don't know. But I will say anything is possible. But when newcomers stop by for the first time and people jump immediately on the MLC bandwagon without much thought, the newbie has a tendency to run with the first plausible idea. And next thing you know, they are still, bitching, moaning and complaining two years later.
I think anything is possible. But let me put this into my perspective when it comes to childhood issues. I was promised from the time I was about 6 years old, my father told me he wanted me to be in his business. As I got older, he went on to say that he had agreement with the major partner (there was a second minority partner who invested to assure a steady supply for his distribution business) to buy him out. I spent all my time at that place. I started mowing lawns, reading blueprints, anything I could do to be there and learn. I worked in the factory when people thought I was old enough to do so, even though I was underage. I gave up time with my friends. They'd be going to a movie on Tuesday night and I would be working. I went to college learning things that would be useful for the business. I spent my holidays working in the factory. I had mono and kept working.
Then, at 23, his partner died. So, after a cooling off period, I asked about the agreement to which my father said "oh, we never signed them." Can you see where that had an effect on me? I'd call that an issue. It caused me much uncertainty and questioning in my life. While I did enough wrong and I was searching for my way in life, I didn't go out and have a family only to break it up by screwing some dopey broad or college coed (I taught at a major university) because my father misled me and my mother didn't breast feed me. Yes, I had a prolonged crisis, but I was still grounded enough not to be the j@ck@$$ that many of you married.
Both of my parents died. There was no volcanic explosion.
As I said before anything is possible. And perhaps my flaw is to say I don't know for sure what is going on rather than speculating and causing others to spin their brains out. All I can do is assure people they will be ok and they can only control their lives.
