Donna, it seems like you really need to get back to a couple of the basics of DBing.
For instance, every time you think of your H, tell yourself to STOP and find something to do. Could be anything, just as long as it is something.
Make a list of goals that you want to accomplish that doesn't involve H or the kids. Break down those goals into doable actions.
Put the focus on you and off of H. Take yourself out of the house or area that H is in. Find a park to go walking, or reading in. Go to a coffee place to work on your paper, etc. There are things to do and occupy yourself with if you look.
When you are alone, what is something you like to do that you never did? Do it! Watch the movies you like, go to the theatre, dance around the house, there has to be something.
