Please help in dealing with Hs affair!!!

[lester]

Nanah,

Wow yeah I know the feeling you get on a roll and seems like it's great then blah. Know that this is normal and there will be lots of ups and downs until it starts to become somewhat more even ride. For me detachment came when I was able to just think about what I was missing in the R. Previously I was so worried about if I was giving enough. That may not help but when I could look at the whole R objectively and say hey this R can be a whole lot better or I can do okay by myself or with someone else. It's different for everyone though and you do have to give yourself some time. It's not easy to be patient I know but look at each day as a small victory "he hugged me" or we didn't fight, etc. Keep expectations low because it's easy to get frustrated.

As far as physical intimacy that's really up to both of you. I know it's weird at times so don't try to force anything you're not comfortable with. I would say more than a time frame it's important that you don't feel uncomfortable but only you will know when that is.

I hope that helps some.