Hey I am alive..I went to a competition in Nevada this week end and won...So that was pretty cool. I had a good time with some old friends and bet on some horse races. Amazing the H that calls 3 or 4 times a day never called for 3 days. I think he went camping with OW. He has been so cranky lately. When I talk to him he says that I carry on to much. I feel I ask the questions to know what is going on to keep updated in business. He has always gotten bummed at someone else and taken it out on me by being cranky. Who knows. One thing he did do was call and congratulate me and tell me what a good job I did at the competition. I keep thinking I have to move ahead for my own sake. Being in business with his family makes it tough. I'm like you Mat, his family really supports me. How strange is that. It still is so hard to detach even when you know you have too. I some times feel what is wrong with me that I can't turn loose after all the things he is doing.
The internet at the school has been up and down yesterday and today. So I will try to start a new thread tonite. I just thought I should check in and see how everyone is doing.
I know this week end my H is leaving today and not coming back til Sunday with his brother.
Glad you're ok, Penny (and everyone else!). CONGRATS! Look forward to reading your new thread.
Met with my lawyer today to discuss some of the things H and I have been negotiating on. I had told H that I needed to ask her first before I agreed to anything more. I mentioned to the lawyer that I wanted what was fair and legal, but I was hoping I wasn't asking for more for revenge. She laughed and said, "what is wrong with revenge?". It was good to be laughing instead of crying!
Hey Mattie, I'm with you. I don't want it to look like I'm out for revenge, I just want a fair settlement. Funny, how after everything they have put us through we still worry about our thoughts and feelings. As Theo has said numerous times we all are too nice, him included!
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I just had a horrible talk with my H--about finances, of course! He knew I had talked to the lawyer yesterday so came by the house to discuss it. We actually started talking while taking the dog for a walk. I told him I agreed about the arrangements for staying in the house and how we'd divide our investments.
All was ok until I mentioned wanting "alimony" until his reetirement. I feel I deserve it; H disagrees. Is it worth fighting in court???? Not sure.
He told me I wasn't willing to give up anything. I replied that I was giving up our marriage!!!! The worst thing about our discussion was he accused me of being the cause of our failed marriage (SINCE I DID NOT KEEP THE HOUSE CLEAN EVEN THOUGH I KNEW THAT WAS IMPORTANT TO HIM!). To make it worse he said that my inability to keep the house clean was on the same level as him having an affair! GGGGGRRRRRRRR! I did admit that I was a lousy housekeeper, but that my heart was much more important than my housekeeping skills. THe whole time I remained calm and cool. I don't even feel like crying now, although the whole conversation makes me very sad.
Fog! Its the fog!!!! Its laughable what they come up with. And yes, it can make you very sad as well. H blames me 100% for our problems, and has tried to throw in the A as being my fault too.
I think alimony, if you want it, is worth fighting for, of course. Like you said, you would be giving up the marriage. A few months ago, H said to me "So, I move out, the kids don't see me as much, you get to stay in the house. Oh you win again, you get everything you want". What?? I am losing my husband and family if that happens.
It might only be a 9 month period that we're talking about if the law doesn't change about his mandatory retirement. That is why I'm not sure it's worth fighting over. He doesn't want me to have any of his retirement either since he says we'll already be divorced by then.....the law is on my side there for sure!
I do have a meeting with my lawyer tomorrow: UGH! Reality stinks! 