Your thread is such a great example of 'reaping what you sow'... you have given so much good advice to others, and i come on to catch up with you and see such strong, thoughtful responses to you!
Quote:
I used to get knotted up over that fact that if I let him 'get away' with being manipulative, it made me look like a fool That used to be so hard. Separating his choices from my self esteem, was part of the 'work' I had to do.
This is a great point, slowly, and something that i've been working on a lot over the summer...letting go of that fear of feeling/looking like a fool to myself and a dupe to my H.
Quote:
I don't know exactly what it is, but there's something about my W's behavior/conduct that just really makes me feel like she is trying to manipulate this whole process we're in right now. I suppose it's the emotions talking (irrational fear)
Honest emotion, not irrational fear, but perhaps still the fear of being 'played' the fool/dupe...that rare inability (for you) to achieve the outcome you want by your sheer will and ability.
And i think this may work into things you are feeling right now... I spent time yesterday thinking about your post (a good diversion while doing some mind-numbing paperwork at work... )
You have worked so hard at this...and I'm betting I'm right that during your life experience, virtually everything you've worked this hard for, you've succeeded at the highest level (all your schooling, tennis, etc... takes one to know one ) On this life-altering issue, not so much, at least not yet. And that's a new, lousy, out-of-control feeling, and a real shot to the old self-esteem.
So what the hell is the matter with your W (my H), that they don't get this/see this/wake up to this????? Doesn't she(he) realize how much there is to lose, how much and how permanently this will hurt our children (who are the only truly innocent ones here...and really one of Michele's biggest focuses in this whole process), how much better it would be to work together to make a good life? Easy and reasonable enough for anger and bitterness to creep in...
) 
) On this life-altering issue, not so much, at least not yet. And that's a new, lousy, out-of-control feeling, and a real shot to the old self-esteem. 
