Inmyplace - the writings of Dorothy Rowe, and James Masterson put early childhood emotional abandonment and physical abuse very firmly in the frame, in a a way that I can relate to, and see similarities with sitch's described on these boards. Sure we aren't totally objective. One of the points of these boards is to throw out ideas and get them challenged.
I agree about Jim Conway, and if you re-read my first post you will see that I specifically say that some people get stuck. Further on Snodderly and I speculate as to why that might be. And we admit it is speculation - but all theory starts somewhere. 'Conjectures and Refutations' stuff.
My point about suitability is that, as I said, yes, some OP are eminently 'suitable'. I also know of a number, including my h's own, that are people of very dubious character. As I said, I suspect, sadly the suitable ones are the ones more likely to turn into LTRs [and that, I fully admit is my take on this].
Drug addicts, people with histories of failed suicides, long term histories of unstable relationships and multiple partners are not normally people you pick as life partners. [Although as Joe E Brown famously said as teh end of 'Some Like i tHot' "Nobody is perfect". So, some chose well, and some badly, but all are 'acting out' with the new partner to some extent, I suspect. Again, jmo.
