Putting final items on list of things to pick up from my house (I can't even say home anylonger...)
Picking stuff up this weekend. With lawyers in tow. Heh, heh, even though my buddies and their vehicles are 'gratis' It will cost me about $800-$1,000 just to have the L there to 'keep the peace' and 'fight' with the other L on what is mine versus what is 'family' property.
Still no offer on the table for the terms of div...
Found out that NY doesn't really divide CS by both incomes and the % of time each parent has kids. Just a quick 25% lop off whether kids are with me 1% or 49% of the time.
To add to the merriment, the judge assigned to my case is a dyed in the wool traditionalist, so I'll be basically reduced to being a paycheck.
Heard from my crack attorney today that there may be visitation (???) WTH Is there or isn't there? And, why is it taking so long?? Just another empty expectation, I'm sure. Going through the process of providing the 3rd list of probable 'Supers' because the first 2 lists were unacceptable to mutha.
It's my stinkin' visit, why does she have the control when I won the damn OP case that was full of lies and exaggerations?? IT'S MADDENING!!!!!!!!
All this BS back and forth crap and the Ls call it 'progress' when in fact it's been a year and I still don't have the kids in my life. What a pitiful joke, the judicial system is. It is so broken and in disarray. There is no logic. I swear I can't take it anymore...
We'll see what landmines await me when I go get my rags this weekend.
And I have to tell you that I was confused with the abbreviations.
Ok first thing first.
Stop the dance you have got going on with your Lawyer, he sucks.
Get a new one, you are getting screwed, and you ain't even enjoying it.
2nd of all. I have to say, and I am a straight shooter.
Seems to me like you are putting alot of blame on other things.
Hey, I bet you 100 pesos that your W is nuts. Hey I get it.
But here is a place to heal.
So, if you know what you have done wrong in this marriage, and what you have done maybe wrong in the dad area. I suggest you write all of that down, and start changing those things one by one.
right?
and I'm not getting snarky, I just want you to heal from the inside out, so that you have a chance at being the best papi you can be.
A'ight.
Ok so this is not about getting your W back.
Ok, but I think for the sake of the courts and that guardian and the judge and all that stuff.
Your 180 is going to be, kill them with kindness, and a few ass kiss smooches never hurt anyone, you feel me?
B/c I am getting the impression here, that the courts are thinking of you as the hot blooded one.
So the first thing, that has to be done is to change that opinion.
Then, I suggest you start getting a life.
The real GAL
Get involved more with the church, start being that best Crumbme that you are.
And not for getting anyone Else's reaction but b/c it will bring you to a place of peace.
You know God is good.
The kids are your priority, Document all you do, hey it can't hurt right?
Church picnic, hey, keep a journal. Get some networking going, on. People that are willing to testify on your behalf if in case anything like that needed to happen.
I do think it's time to drop the crack lawyer tho, OK .
peace
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
First off, thank you for being a straight shooter. Being in corporate America, you get a lot of sugar-coated milk duds but we all know its not milk duds. (Hell, I know I've been guilty of some of that too.) I do try not to say too much, 'cause I don't know if W is lurking, although, I am pretty sure she would not be trolling through DB sites, because she's planned the D for a while and there is no repairing this train wreck (I had a fleeting glimmer of hope, but that was foolhardy - any thoughts of being a 'failure' aside.).
Having said that, you are right, she is nuts. I thought she was a ‘difficult’ or high-maintenance person, but I didn’t feel she was quite nuts until she got me taken out of my home, thereby giving me a chance to be separated from the day-to-day enough to look at our R from an arms-length perspective. What the hell was I thinking??
Well, enough about that. I am pretty much a stable guy; level headed; don’t get upset too easy; work well under pressure; try to be funny, but usually come off as corny – the usual stuff. What does get me riled up, though, is the court system. I have never worked in such a deceitful, conniving, incestuous environment in my LIFE. I come from the biz world, where you seek to provide an environment conducive to good relationships, strong negotiations and a win-win (read: respect) situation for all the parties at the table.
This is not how the court system works. You have these Ls lying about each others clients, lobbing unsubstantiated ‘bombs’ at each other, then smiling in the waiting room, chatting up the next case, where their roles are reversed. (Defendants attorney today, plaintiffs L tomorrow and Law Guardian next week)! All while enjoying a cup of coffee and returning calls about other cases, ON YOUR DIME!!!
I actually told my L that we had matters to discuss to please check on calls after we were through and he was bothered by it. WTH?!?!
Alright, getting a little hot under the collar and off topic. Well I didn’t know the game (hate like hell that I’m forced to learn it, because that is so not me) so now I have to play catch up. I think you are right, I need to really kiss ass and kill them all with kindness, especially since I inadvertently found a way to show just how nuts the W is. (Maybe I’ll touch on this in my next post.)
On the networking and church comments, I have received similar wise counsel from close friends and relatives, so I’ve ramped that up. I now go to a different church (feel MUCH more comfortable there too) where friends that I hadn’t been in contact with for a while attend. They do not know my sitch, so it was easy to relate and answer generic questions with generic replies. Also, have been able to line up some friends and neighbors who are willing to go to bat for me, should it come to that.
Wow long rant… I guess my next point to ponder may be (the real) GAL. :-} Scary…
