[Sunflower23]

These posts are so interesting to me. I have thought a long time that my H was basically ingnored by his mother who is not an affectionate or loving person. He is sensitive to comments and I'm sure he stored everything that was said in childhood comparing him to his brother who is only 21 months younger and the apple of H's mother's eye.

H has said many times that he hates his mother when he's angry since MLC began. I worry that he compares me to her, but we are very different. I am also the one that facilitated much of his contact with his parents during our M.

H's brother was/is very attractive. It was always mentioned. Also, H was always told that his brother was so much better at everything and that H was more of a "bookish" type.

I think I gave him all his self-esteem. Then school and job promotions and ministry gave him a lot of attention and I wasn't needed so much. BTW, he'd have never done any of those things if I hadn't encouraged him.

Another point Liss and Snod made was interesting. My family had higher morals and class (I hate to put it that way but for lack of a better term . . .) than H's and I think he wanted to live up to a better standard and so perhaps that was another mask he put on.

So much damage to a little boy. I really do not like my MIL one bit, but always put on my own mask around her, but have stopped bending over backwards with her and I feel free. She ignores the fact that her son has turned into her brother who died from drinking and was found dead a week after he drank himself to death while hiding out from his family. Blah.