I think there is much about your post that is true. I also think there are defense mechanisms that make up the stories that we may want. Life is full of transitions. The transitions I have experienced in the last few years have made me strionger.. And yes, some of the problems I faced had their roots in childhood and a failure to be an adult at times and face those issues.
When I spoke of inbreeding, I do see potential however for childhood issues to be a convenient boogeyman as I see very little about this in the literature. I do however see much references to recent incdents and a desire to regain youth as causes of MLC.
You spoke of the unsuitability of the OP. I know my ex met someone suitable, so I can see from an anecdotal standpoing some truth to this. But I also see much blame placed on thiese 'unsuitable" OP as opposed to the atrocious behavior exhibited by the spouse.
In regards to understanding MLC and its stages, one of the best explanations I have seen is done by Jim Conway. Conway midlife stages But one of the things I see is that too often people base their MLC on those of others. I can show you MLCer who get to a certain point and stay that way. And that leads to what I believe is the key point of your whole post and one I fully endorese.
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Will he emerge? I dont know, he is one of the slower ones certainly. Will we still want to have a relationships with each other? I dont know. We both have a choice in this. My future is no longer 'dependent' on the outcome of his return, much as I believe,I would welcome it.
And you have succinctly stated both the problem and the solution. It is what you do.
