Enough is enough. I hope that letter was cathartic. Now have a ritual and burn it.
Do not send that, do not send anything. You don't need to tell him not to call you, YOU simply need not to take his calls.
Acknowledge that H is right. All he gets from you is more of the same guilting-dismissal of him. Of course, he keeps giving you the same sh*t too. One of you has to stop the shared sh*t eating meals. I guess it will be you. But the solution is to stop. It is not more of the same.
I couldn't even read a 10th of that more-of-the-same-let-me-tell-you-how-[censored]-up-and-evil you are letter. About the only thing that jumped out at me was this:
"In order to move on, I might need a few things from you."
NO YOU DID NOT GET TO KEEP MAKING ANY DEMANDS ON HIM I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY ARE.
If you don't want to talk to him, don't answer the phone, etc...
As for the question about D and CW's D: I believe you let them play together last week. I think it will be confusing to D if she can play with her with you but not with her Dad. It is putting adult matters squarely in the middle of her friendship. So, I would suggest a ONE SENTENCE EMAIL along either of these lines, but be consistent:
(1) No, I am not comfortable with it. D and CW's D should not be in each other's company until the no contact order expires.
(2) Yes, but D may not be within 500 yards of CW at any point.
Quit worrying about what H thinks about either reply. It is irrelevant. The only thing he would like to hear is: "Of course that is fine and please bring CW along too, don't be silly." Given you are not going there, drop it.
IF he ever tells you again that you cannot be friends with him (WHICH IT SHOULDN'T BECAUSE YOU SHOULD NOT BE TALKING TO HIM), simply agree: "you are correct, we do not have a friendship."
