Angelica, What you've posted about the reconnections is absolutely true. They need to pick up the pieces that they've left behind and then place them into the puzzle of their life in order to figure out what their lives will be.
I'm glad your h is going to visit his mother. You are a lot like me. My xh could not have cared less about his mother, but I was the one always initiating phone conversations, letters, cards and visits. I seriously doubt that my xh would have stayed in contact w/his mother had it not been for what I did. His mother passed aways 4 years ago and now he regrets not being there for her. As for his father, well...xh harbored some major anger towards him for leaving the family a long time ago and wasn't speaking to his father when he passed away in 1998. This is when the journey began for my xh. He lost a lot that year. My xh hasn't been in touch with friends in my area. They ask about him all of the time, but they've not seen or heard from him since 1999. I would venture to say that my xh is definitely one that will never exit the tunnel. To this day, he's still very screwed up. So much anger and resentment towards the world and what few emails I have received from him, he still spews forth anger and bitter words. A very sad situation.
You've got a very healthy attitude towards your situation and I'm glad to see it. Life has so much to offer all of us!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
