Snodderley - Thank you for stoping by - as you know, I always value your posts. I completely agree with all that you said, and I tried to imply in my post - the seeds were planted long ago, and the person that emerges may have changed - as we have also changed.
A further point is that this makes sense of true reconnection. I think in true reconnection they are, at least in part, picking up the pieces they left behind, and sorting out other reltionshps, as well as 'testing the water'
My h is going to see his mother this week - he hasn't seen her in years, [she lives on another continent] and he described it as 'a long overdue visit'. I facilitatated their r for years, because I am fond of her, and wanted her to have a good r with her grandchildren, but there is a LOT of history in their relationship. It may just be another touch and go, but it feels,in line with his other recent behaviour, that he is starting to 'wake up' a little. Not towards me, but towards friends, family and his children. Friends are reporting phone calls after long silence, and the children are definitely being wooed [my h's own words]. He also asked for all the family photos, which have sat unlooked at for nearly two years.
Me, I am sitting on the side lines, and enjoying the huge privilege of living for a few months in central London.
I am thinking about those that don't exit, and why this is - I have some ideas, but it is such a speculative and delicate matter . . . A
