[job]

Angelia,
An excellent posting and one you put a lot of thought into.

I'd like to add one thing about the masks. The trying on of the masks starts very early on. When they are children, and they are constantly under the thumb of parents and/or guardians who either are too busy to pay attention to them, phyiscally and emotionally abuse them, don't validate their thougths and feelings, etc., that's when the child will begin to wear the mask that will most likely save them at the time from additional harm. They learn to "stuff" their hurt and emotions because they know that no one gives a fig about them. Even when they are so unhappy, they will continue to try on the mask of "happy" or close to it.

The mask wearing continues throughout their adult life until something triggers the process. From then on, the person you thought you knew turns into a different person. Actually, what we are all seeing is the inner child coming out that was hurt so long ago and has been stuffed down for that period of time as well. Once the inner child has rebelled long and hard, only then will the adult learn to integrate all of the emotions together and become a whole person once again. The one thing that everyone needs to understand, there is no guarantee that when the complete integration takes place, that the person you knew will be the same one that comes out the other side. Many times, they will come out no differently, there are some who will be the same but will have some of the new traits picked up along the yellow brick road. Others will come out totally different and will not be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and then there are those who never exit and remain totally lost.

Just like life, it's a gamble as to whether the person you loved for a very long time will be the same person once the crisis is over. That's why it's very important to live your life to the fullest and allow them to go on their merry way and discover themselves.

I hope that what I've written will make some sense to you. It's a very long process and the "Ball" for mask wearing began a very long time ago for the people in crisis, it didn't just happen when the triggers began.