vacation is over, I am leaving

[Sara]

Boy you are getting it from all sides. My life used to be like that, with everyone making demands on me. And I was just in crisis management mode. Trying to fix one crisis after another with no help from my H.

Thank God that is a stage of life that passes. Hopefully at Retrouvaille you will be able to communicate to your H what the problems in your life are, and he will see what he can do to help. Once you have the dialogue technique down, at least your communication will be better.

I think you will be very happy with the events of this weekend. Just go with a positive attitude, and try to really get away from the pressure at home.

[limbo]

Thanks Sara!
I think thats what the problem is, I just can't cope with anything anymore, I have had to cope with all of this for so long, and I just can't do it anymore.
H and I are going to see C on Friday about our S7, although I am sure things will have to be discussed about us! This is the C we saw back last October, but he wasn't the right one for us, didn't give us alot of solutions, His specialty is kids, and I can see him doing well with that, that's why we thought of him! I hope we can get S sorted out before he gets worse. Was watching Dr Phil yesterday about worse case scenerio kids and its frightening!

[Sara]

He's already a problem at 7?

[limbo]

Yes....He has started to get aggressive with other kids, to the point where he was asked not to come back on the last day of camp.
He has always been such a good boy, but very sensitive, and it seems he doesn't handle confrontation with other kids well, and gets mad with them which in turn is causing him to get physical, so we decided we need to get some help in dealing with this, we don't want it getting out of control.
I think it has alot to do with what has been going on with h and I.

[Sara]

Yeah, that could be. My youngest is a sweet boy, but once he was suspended from school for fighting. Sometimes the other kids just really drive them nuts and they lash out. doesn't sound like a permanent problem though. So that's good.

[limbo]

I kind of think its like that with my son to, that he just get frustrated with other kids, and doesn't know how to verbalize it and so lashes out.
Our concern is that he is going to get labelled as a difficult child and that will stay with him through his school life. So we need get some outside advice, we have tried and it still persisted, so it can't hurt...First day back at school yesterday, and seemed to be no problems!!! Day 2 lets hope its another good one!

[limbo]

Talked to h last night about the retro weekend and it sounds like he may be losing his intrest in doing it, he has to get a letter from his T to allow him to do it, so I asked him when he was going to get it.
He said he will, I asked him if he still wanted to go, he said he does, he is like 70% wanting to go, I asked the 30% that doesn't want to, why? He said laziness, because he can think of other things to do, and with all the follow up weekends too.
So I think he is working his way to saying he doesn't want to go.

Also I have that feeling again, that the other shoe is going to fall, and it sucks!

[limbo]

ok....so I am now offically about to lose it!!!!
H just emailed me and said that management wount relocate him to another office on a permanent basis, and he will have to return to the office where ow is! This is bad, very bad!

[Heimlich]

Limbo,
Wish I had some great advice to give you, but just wanted you to know that it's probably not as bad as it seems.

As your name says -- you're in limbo. If your H does pull out of going to retrouvaille out of "laziness", well, you know what, maybe he won't come around. I hate to write that, but that's BS on his part. However, stay positive, don't give him a reason not to go.

If he moves back to the office with OW, I'd be less concerned if he went to the weekend with you.

Keep calm (as possible) for your children. Even before all of this heppened between my W and I, we knew our oldest D was going to be trouble. I snap sometimes, but you can DB your children too. Kill 'em with kindness (and, when that doesn't work, just kill 'em )

BD

[limbo]

Thanks for the laugh Heim!!! I need it.

I was just sat here, not doing work as usual and thinking, I just don't think I have it in me for this, I just can't do it anymore, I am just so tired, I don't think I have the strength to worry about him being at work, and being near her, and believe me not only do they work in the same office, but they probably sit like 20ft away from each other.
Just the thought of this exhausts me mentally.