I really did have a true melt down yesterday...Which started with D15 and made worse by my Mum calling...she thinks she is helping, but really I just feel like she is picking at an open sore, and it will never heal, I know she is trying to help, tells me its not my fault, but then launchs in on how its all H fault, and he has to take responsibility, and for some reason it just makes me feel worse, I don't know if its because its making me face it, or just because he is still my H and I am protective of him. H called me wanting to know what happened, and I told him, and I was blubbering like an idiot...at this point I don't really care what it did to him. He was trying to be supportive on the phone, telling that I shouldn't talk to my Mum so much, but thats hard because she is on her own. Last night when we went to bed, he got in and laid right up close, and wanted to cuddle alot, and then again this morning cuddled, I know he is trying, and I appreciate that. But last night I was thinking that maybe my problem is that I have just been hurt to much, and I just can't get past that. We are still on for the retro weekend, and I still plan to go with an open mind and see what happens.
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
