I sit here wondering so many things- like you said in Jan you would give notice on your house. Then you wanted to try weeks. But then there is always a reason- no TV, I said something that upset you, I did something. I feel like there will always be something that keeps you back. Like you are looking for that promise of forever but will nick pick to not ever reach it. You're looking for a promise that I won't ever say anything that hurts- whether intentional or not. You're not willing to take a chance because of that. I understand that. On my side, what's my promise that dishes or laundry won't pile up for me to come home to? Or that shoes will be put away, or that you'll talk to me about a problem? There is no way I can know that after 2 months back together your clothes won't be all over the bedroom, or that you won't shut me out, or wash 5 loads of laundry and throw them on the couch (remember, things like that hurt me, the same as words hurt you). I know it will happen. ((look around your house; I'm not saying that in a bad way :}, you know you can't promise that either- and i don't expect you to.)) And yet, I am willing to take the risk of getting back together- not because you have changed and those things won't happen- but because I know they will happen and I have changed how I react to it. I'm not saying I don't expect on some level those things will improve, or that it is now OK to throw 5 loads of laundry on the couch. I'm saying that if/when the crap happens, my reaction is different. Does that make sense?
