I LOVE living alone

[forever21]

Thanks for your post, Ian! Interesting thoughts from you.

Thanks for noticing my confidence and strength. I have my moments, but I'm doing pretty darn good. Love your analogy with the boxing. It's so true. And I have caught on to this over time, but it takes some getting used to. I've noticed I don't fight him like I used to, and it has made a huge diff.

I get what you're saying about him trying to egg me on to reload his arsenal. Makes sense. He used to do that SO much, and I have watched him do that some lately too but not near as much. It doesn't seem as though he wants to fight me, or be angry at me anymore. I see this cycle definitely being broken. When we met last, on Sat, I think he was feeling really icky and struggling with himself for "being evasive" to me. It was very hard for him to hear me tell him how much I respected him, and at first he didn't think he could handle hearing it. I think his anger came from being scared of D and just getting extremely anxious over the subject. Yeah... come to think of it, he probably IS surprised I haven't bothered to try to get out of him why he lied (or was being evasive), or even some other things that he's tried to bate me on.

I completely agree with you on his reasons for not wanting a D, but I'm gonna let him speak for himself. That is something I have told him I am really interested in hearing. He's always admitted to thinking about D, he just knows that he doesn't want to. I told him I don't see any reason for me to stay M. It's taken awhile, but I think he has started to understand where I'm at with this. I've been very open with him about what I want and need, what I'm seeing that I like from him, what I don't like, and what I'm not seeing enough of... namely, I feel like there's more talk than action. If he IS trying to "fix" this M, then that should help him.

Things are friendly with us. He seems to be working at dealing with stress in a healthy way, but I think he's just doing that on his own as he has before... no therapist... and I want to say "how well has that worked for you in the past?" Anywho, that's that.

I have 2 full flats of raspberries, and a half flat of strawberries to freeze and make into some jam tomorrow. Will be scheduling my State R.E. exam. It's raining, and its summer. Dogs are great. I'm great. Life is good.