I have all the insight I need. I am so tired of holding on to something that has been gone for so long.
H called after the kids were in bed. I should have let it go to the answering machine, but picked up. He is done. I am done. I don't think that there is anything left to hold onto anymore. He does not want a R with me, period. Anything that I say or do is turned around that I don't care about his feelings, that he is wrong for every choice that he makes. He said that I must be trying to hurt him, since all he gets from me is not being able to let go (what he wants) and guilt.
I can't DB with him. I have tried, and just can't seem to do it. I'm not even a little duck-like, as every thing that comes out of him cuts me to the core. I am not detached, and still come across as desperate, if not needy.
He mentioned again that he doesn't think I can remain friends with him, that I am making it an all or nothing thing with him, and that he will have to be a prick and keep telling me that it is over until I get it. That it has nothing to do with the other woman, just me. When I try to validate how he feels, he just continues to add to the laundry list of terrible things that I did to him in the marriage.
I can't keep doing this. I get no where but pissing him off more. He doesn't hear me.
I am writing my good-by letter to him right now. And I will mean it.
