When to move back in together?

[the girl]

I have been unloved by this man for so long, and I am so used to just living that way, that its hard to imagine him telling me he loves me.

I am hanging on because I am trying to be responsible for my choice to marry and procreate with him. I am trying to be an adult. I don't want to run away from my problems.

I am sooo cynical about love in general. Do I love him? Yes...I love everyone in my life.

It would be unbelievably good if he said he is back for me. But I don't expect him to.

In my gut, I really like who I am, I love my life and I am a happy person. I know that God is immensely good.

I know my H has always had issues. I knew this before I married him. I still did it. So I have to own up for what I have done.

I had/have issues to, but I have developed a very strong faith in Christ that has really transformed my entire identity. I thought the same would happen to him. I still think it can.

But the things my mom has said have now become like a large slash in my tires; am I living in denial?

But I also look around at other men in my family. THey all screwed up. Why does she think he is so unique, and unforgivably bad?

I think we are all capable of adultery. For those who do it, I still think there is redemption. God forgave me, and forgives me daily. I have done rotten stuff too.

As for the yo-yo, I have already told him this is his last chance to work it out with me. Also, I will absolutely not tolerate infidelity in my home. If he does, his stuff will be on the front lawn and I will post pictures on this forum to prove it!

Im just not desperate to save the marriage at all costs anymore. I have done my best to change how I treat him, and now it is his turn.

A friend of mine reminded me that although he is moving back in, the deal is not sealed. She said that if I don't see the needed improvements over time that I can still call it quits. Moving back in is a step toward reconciliation. So that helps me realize this isn't the be all end all.

So good to be able to get your feedback!
The Girl