I would not be making these changes in myself without the separation, so no matter what happens to the M, I will always be grateful for this chance at growth, hard as it is.
Amen!
Do they peek out of their tunnel at times? you bet they do. My W does every other day. Thats why everybody here keeps warning us of the roller coaster ride. No matter what, we have to get on with our life so that we can be ready to pull them off the end of the tunnel when they are ready to get out themselves, and not before that.
At the beginning I was hopelessly waiting for my W's "awekening" - as if its going to come quicker if I wait around. That was my shortcoming. I have learnt since then not to get so excited about their peek-outs of the tunnel, but keep building yourself up and grow inside. The MLC spouse do want to see something pleasant when they peek out, especially since they are so confused inside....
Me 41, ring on W 36, ring off married 13 yrs Separated D9, D5 bomb May, 07 My sitch
