There and Back, #4

[SallyM]

thanks, lwb.

he never called so no idea how the dinner meeting went. guessing not well, work wise. but who knows. will find out when he calls tomorrow. I just feel sick about the whole thing. he is so stressed, so full of mlc fog and crap that adding this to the mix is not good...I'm afraid he's going to lose it even more.

I am happy about him wanting to see the kids, and I do know he worries about me/wants me to be okay, but that doesn't really change things between us, ya know? just means he's an ass, but not a total dick, like I've said before.

the my head thing was funny, though, and a nice acknowledgment at just how messed up he is. I think he even realizes it. and he said as he was leaving that he was sorry that he had to run off. normally he does just leave, but maybe he wanted to talk? or maybe he was just bummed that he didn't have that much time with the kids.

okay, s_o_t_s is going to come after me for making this all about H again. lol. must stop, must stop, must stop.

nothing to do about anything here, but can i just say I did tae bo yestday for the first time in a year and today my ass is KILLING me. ouch ouch ouch. its actually starting to distract me from my problems. so maybe a good thing. lol.

see, there I go again, avoiding anything real...although really, it is part of me GAL and doing stuff for me, so hey, maybe not so far off. I have been doing really good at GAL stuff, the more I think about it, so that is a huge proud. I've reached out to people I don't know well, I've re-connected with old friends, I've even started the october db boston meet. so hey, I'm doing pretty good, gal wise. yay me. now I just need to really figure out what my ayers rock/vespa is. the social stuff is fun, but I know there is more to ME than I have allowed to grow. no idea why I have such a hard time with that.