You are right about your W loosing her marbles! You have seen your mistakes and now know what to do if you get another chance with her......and if not, you know what not to do with another lady....given the chance. Either way, you will be a better man and husband for some lucky woman.
I probably shouldn't tell this, but I will. It is to show that others see things that we wish our mates would see....and some DO before it is all too late. Anyway, a statement made by the OM in my life was that he could not believe any man (especially my H) would let me slip through his fingers! Now, let me tell you....that was medicine for this ole gal who needed to hear she was still sexy and pretty....and special. So, it is things like that that we hear, either from our spouse or from OP, that will make us feel like we are beautiful and important.
I remember the first time my new (female) boss saw my H and made the comment that now she saw why I went home ever night! So, for a minute I tried to look at my H through her eyes! I first thought, "Are you looking at MY husband?" I was actually surprised that she found him attractive! So, it goes both ways.....I am not blameless here. I need to see him through "new" eyes also.
I got so tickled when I read AmyC's post! Oh, but it was so good for me! Gee, I needed that! But, you know what? She is right....I do have what it takes....and what's more important...I know I do! So, (darn it) it DOES put the ball in my court and I am going to have to get off my duff and make a move!
By the way, how does she know I have "cushion"? lol.......Oh, but it is in all the right places, Amy!.........oh, lordy, I've got to stop before I get into trouble here.
Where was I? Oh, yes, ......about you! (I had a very good nap this evening and must have woke up in a much better mood from since I first came home from work.) But serious,....at least I will try to be here for a minute.....you were asking about my financial reasons and not walking away, etc. You see, I had no child support nor any proceeds from anything. The amount that is left from all my insurance withholdings, etc, from my check every month was not enough to live on. Believe me, I figured rent, untilities, food, gas, etc., etc.,.......and it all added up to more than what I brought home...and I was not allowing anything for clothes, medicine, or anything extra like that. So all I can say is that your W has it made, whether she realizes it or not, and is lucky in that department. I wonder though, if she did not have the child support or the proceeds to fall back on, just how long she could make it. I have a feeling that that was quite a nice little "pot" for her to dip into whenever she needed it. Anyway......enough about that.
I want you to keep your self-esteem healthy. Just because you don't want to date another woman right now doesn't mean anything needs "fixing" and it sounds like you are thinking wisely. You DO WANT a relationship with your W....that is understandable.....and you have certainly not given up at this point. However, I think you are thinking right to know that you are turning out to be a better person....in spite of all the pain you've been through. You are young and if you can't have your W.....then some other woman will be lucky to get you. However, as I've said before....just be sure you are over your wife, sweetie, because it won't work with anybody else....until you get over her.
Take care and let me hear from you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
