Growing up is hard to do

[peaceful_spirit]

Okay, H is totally depressed.

I asked him how his C went. he said fine. I asked if he wanted to share. He said they just talked about "growing up crap". I asked if he wanted to share more. he said no.

So, I told him that I didn't mean to say hurtful things the other night, but when I feel him withdrawl, I start to get angry and then we just start going in opposite directions. So, that started teh conversation.

I asked how he felt about what I said. he said he didn't like hearing me say he didn't have any real relationships. I said that I was sorry that hurt, but it's the truth. I reminded hiim that he would turn to nobody in time of need. He agreed. I told him that he doesn't let anybody in, but that I wanted to get it. I also said that I'm not going to "yes" him like everybody else does in his life... that this is what you call tough love... that he needed to hear it like it is.

Then I asked him if he was happy. He said "not really". I asked if he sometimes wondered if he wanted to move out again. he said "sometimes". I said that I want to help him, but at the same time, this is all killing me too. I said I wished he'd just let me in so we could work through it together. But that when he's here, it's like he doesn't wnat to be here. I asked if he sometimes wonders if being here is making it worse. He said, "sometimes".

I told him that he's here in person, but not in spirit. And that this house is filled with so much spirit and that it's a place of safety and happiness. But when he's home, it's not those things.

Finally, he said, "I know you're trying to help, but this is torture". I said in a very nice tone, "Okay. I'll leave you alone now." He said, "thank you".

I know, stop the talks right? But I just can't stand living this way. I am feeling suffocated with his dark self here. Does this sound unsupportive and cold? I just have this strong desire lately to just move on with my life.

But am i giving up too soon?