Thank you for your words of encouragement. I agree that I need to set some clear boundaries that will give me some dignity and self-control, without completely pushing H away forever.
One of the positive things about being separated (yeah, I'm looking at the bright side of this!) is I'm using this time to GROW. I'm slowly learning how to develop a better attitude, take better care of my appearance, and cut back on the whining and desserts.
Whenever I suspected that my H was going out with women from work, I immediately poured myself a glass (okay, sometimes a REALLY big glass!) of wine after dinner *to take the edge off.* Got into a bad habit that continued after my H moved out.
A few nights ago, I realized that I started drinking while I was praying. So much for the prayingwife, eh?! Not a good combination. So, I decided that I was NOT going to drink any *adult beverages* while I'm separated because... God won't honor my prayers if I'm even a *little* hammered... It looks really bad when I'm fighting for my rights... I need a clear mind to make important decisions about my life... And drinking prevents me from feeling that gut-wrenching, hellish, unbearable pain that we all need to go through during the healing process.
I just decided that I loved God, my H, my kids, and myself more than I loved some temporary buzz, a plate of brownies, or another bowl of ice cream.
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” - Matthew 19:6
