Sandi, you have to wake yourself up soon and stop using all your passion to lament the things you think you do not have.
There is no way your husband is going to understand the extent of your emotions (or lack thereof) if you don't walk yourself into the other room and tell him. Tell him you love him and you want your marriage to succeed but for it to do so he has to pull his head outta the idiot-box (that's what my Papa calls the TV)and HELP YOU. My old friend crazedmom had the exact same problem before she left this board. Her husband was like a bump on a log! Woman, you HAVE PASSION. It is splattered throughtout every single one of your posts.
I want you to make a plan. I don't care if it's to go feed pigeons or to go skinny-dipping in Mr. Johnson's pond, just MAKE ONE. Don't ASK your husband if he wants to go. Tell him "Honey, next Saturday I have planned for us to __________________ . We will be leaving at ____ am/pm. Please be ready. I am very much looking forward to this" (don't worry about throwing in that guilt card at then end, either. Sometimes it's a good thing!)
One more thing... and this is gonna make your teeth fall out when you read it (dentures or NOT!)....do you have a full length mirror? If you don't, I think you can get one at Walmart for about $5 this time of the year.
Do your hair up however you do it. Get out your prettiest nightie (if you haven't bought one in years, get out the best one you have - NO EXCUSES). Look at yourself in the mirror. Pose yourself as if you were 15 again. Pucker up and kiss the mirror with bright red lipstick on, woman! You see where I'm going with this? Find your inner VAMP. Find your beauty. Find your sexuality. Shut the freakin door while Homie is watching Jeopardy or whatever - spend some time with yourself. Let yourself feel pretty. Let yourself feel sexy. I'm thinking if you get yourself kicked into gear, Homie's gonna start looking a little more appealing and you can get over this god-forsaken hump you're stuck on. Don't tell me you're fat either or any other nonsense. I'm not going to accept that. Some of the sexiest women in the world have more cushin' for the pushin' if you know what I'm sayin' .
Things don't have to remain this way, Sandi. But the ball is in your court to change the status quo.
So get out there and bounce! (no pun intended)
And hey, if you're worried about God, let me remind you, it's all legal because this man is your husband. Now work it, girl!
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