Husband moving in with OW

[prayingwife247]

I have a confession to make: I'm absolutely terrified of roller coasters! So why did I keep hopping on the same old one over and over? I don't know. Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results?

I completely lost my cool yesterday after this latest bomb (H and OW moving into my neighborhood), and H left for work. I felt a lot better after I prayed with one of my friends, though. Last night, he came back to the house to watch a football game he'd recorded, and I watched part of it with him. When I got up to leave the room, he asked me to stay there and watch the rest of the game with him.

After the game was over, I ever-so-platonically said, "Okay, bye." and he asked me not to go. He told me that he was having doubts about moving in with the OW, and that he really missed me, etc. Then, he asked if I would have s*x with him. He'd approached me for s*x a few times since he moved out, but it always seemed like a *lust* thing. I always turned him down. This time, though, there was something *different* -- his approach was very loving, and I... caved. Twice.

Did you guys break out the pitchforks and tiki torches yet? Yeah, I know I was stupid, stupid, stupid for caving. I realize that I probably killed my chances of ever getting my husband back. The difference is, I did not assume *Oh, this means he's coming home!*

He went back to his apartment, but he said ILY and he seemed VERY sincere.

Today, we had some business-related things to take care of at the house, and he made a few *wink-wink* type comments about ML. Did I start boo-hooing and asking him about or relationship? Nope. I did not say one word about our marriage, future, feelings, etc. I just made a wink-wink comment back at him, and I did not let anything *get* to me.

I've jumped off the roller coaster.

I finally realized...

* I need to stay in God's will, and TRUST Him no matter what happens
* My obsessive grip on this situation means that I don't trust God enough to take care of me
* I'm ready to get a life!
* God's love is unconditional, and He will never leave me nor forsake me (unlike H)

As long as I focus on God, I'm happy. When I focus on my problems (or even little victories), I'm a mess.

Yes, I know that my H and I spend too much time together. However, that will change once I GAL.

Is it also stupid that he's starting to kiss me again?