Just back from IC, finishing making dinner, then off again to D's open house. How do single parents do all this? Guess I am going to find out...
Session went well. IC read my copy of Uncoupling and will recommend it to others. She did say that this is not going to be an easy path--and recognizes that it is a path that I don't want at all. She tried to help me with some of the head-above-water stuff coming up, while I learn a whole new way to juggle with one hand behind my back (or sleeping with another woman, whatever...).
She wanted to know how the weekend went, then we talked about the convo with the kids. All looks good. I am still missing H, though...my best friend. I have lost so much. I walk around with the feeling like a part of me is missing. I look over and see that D is playing with a Barbie with the head pulled off--that is how I feel. Something essential is gone...
I just want him to get help. But IC and I agreed that he is not hearing me, and even when he went to his own C, all that ended up was too much empathy and not enough therapy, labeling me narcissistic, and a recommendation for an attorney. She said that even my reaching out to his family and friends would be the only other path, and he is ignoring all of them, as well. Making these decisions even when they ostracize him from anyone who ever meant anything in his life.
She said that she can talk to his parents if they wanted to do some kind of intervention, but that I can't be involved in it at all, or it would be seen as a kind of manipulation.
I don't like this life. I can manage it, I can live it, but I don't have to like it. I miss all that I had. I miss the man who he was. And I wonder if he could ever be the same again.
I used to think I knew the answers before. Now, I have no idea.
--Still heartbroken, but living for me and my kids, Donna
