Horny? Moi?

[haphazard]

The reason I can't really answer the question of what wooing behaviour would be is that I don't really know. It's one of the those you know it when you see it things. I think the responsibility cuts both ways and it is about what Mojo has been saying on her Recipe thread, it is about not taking the other one for granted, not acting like you deserve anything from the other. It is about making the effort just as you would for a new date. It doesn't have to be about expensive gifts, or scintillating nights out.

The thing that comes to mind is the way old people can be. Some old people act like they've had a hard life and now it's their turn to just sit back and let everyone else come to them, and they are hard work to be around. Some old people (like my neighbour who passed away last month) reach out and work at making relationships with people, they're still giving even when there's nothing left of them. He was a great old guy, couldn't walk, smoking himself to death, etc. But he bought sweets for my kids, and he kept hold of my spare front door key, he always had a few words to say to everyone that passed his gate. In return I was happy to change light bulbs for him, or give him things from my garden. My grandmother on the other hand always acted like you were a recently released criminal because you'd left it more than a fortnight to phone her (when did you last phone me Grandma?).

Yep, it's that old saw entitlement. I guess what I mean by wooing is acting the opposite of entitled.

Anyhow, my new pov is that the venn diagram which represents the fusion of my and my H's interests is a mere sliver, and that is not a problem. I like everything about my life right now and that is my doing and will continue to be my doing. There is nothing I can do to make my H's life any different to how he chooses to make it. He's a nice enough guy, I'm quite happy to interact with him when he is happy to do that, I no longer feel any need to interact with him more than he would like - it's his choice.

Thanks to Kettricken quizzing me about what my problem is with MB I decided to investigate. I've since found out that it works fine for me who knew. I obviously did have some deeply repressed problems with it. Catholic guilt no doubt, such deep rooted guilt that I wasn't even aware of it. Also thanks to Burgbud's comments about self validation I have even achieved the holy grail of mb to O without fantasy. And I have to say it is COOOOOL!!

Now when I feel horny, and I do feel horny all the time, I recognise that it is not necessarily a sexual need. It is something much better than that. It is a recognition that life is good, I get a warm buzzing sensation originating in my genitals that just tells me I'm enjoying life. I don't need to follow that through with actual sex or MB, I can just recognise it for what it is a warm buzzy feeling.

Fran