Sorry, HD, I'm with everyone else on this one. This is B.S., and I thought it was directly tied to your upcoming trip even before I read the post where someone else had predicted that.
I think a simple "I'm sorry you feel that touching my wife is the same as rape; that's YOUR issue, not MINE" should suffice.
And I would also not trust her. I see a "rape" charge somewhere in your future, I really do. She's just not "right" about this issue, and it's going to bite you in the azz someday.
