Nomopo's Funk? Is that what this is?

[Heimlich]

Nomo,

Hey, stream of consciousness, you get what you pay for

I am waiting (hence limbo) to see if W "wakes" up. Maybe when I stop waiting is when I am fully detached. Maybe when I stop waiting is when I really move on in my life, including possibly to a new R.

I don't quite agree with this, and this was kindof the crux of what I was trying to get across. I think you can detach, move on with your life, while still waiting for your W to wake up. Of course, if you start dating, I think you can still be open to a reconciliation. Once you begin to develop a new R, with all of that emotioanl attachment, I would say that the R with your W would be over. That make any sense at all?

I also didn't mean to suggest that you've been wallowing in self-pity and not focusing on yourself or living a good life for you and your kids. Good lord, you've more energy that 10 DBers.

Originally Posted By: Heimlich
Let 'em go.


Do you mean something more that stop waiting or thinking about her so much.

Nope, exactly that. Let her go. Stop waiting for her to wake up.

But, I am still waiting (and hoping), and haven't given up entirely on W yet. Maybe I am missing your point.

This is what I meant about your W still has some power over your life. Your tone sounds done in the sense that you don't really want to wait any longer. However, you keep throwing in statemenst that "I haven't given up entirely on W yet." Seems to me there's tension between those two things and it seems like you feel like you're just hanging out, waiting for some sign from your W, but not expecting for it to come.

I'm long distance worried about you. I might be reading too much into your recent writing, but there seems to be some encroaching bitterness toward your W. That was never evident in your posts before, at least that I noticed (I haven't read ALL of them, but a good portion). It just seems that you want to move forward (preferably with your W), but she's not coming. Without that hint of bitterness, I'd suggest you keep doing what you're doing. As I posted a while back, you're relatively new to the DB portion of saving your M and your W seems to be making some halting steps in your direction. With the hint of bitterness, moving on without her might be the only way for you to keep DBing.

Arg, I'm having an awful time here describing the nuance I'm trying to get across.

Let me try this:

I have not stopped thinking about her and the sitch completely. Do we ever?

No, I don't think we stop thinking about our sitch. However, I have somehow managed to split my thinking. Half my brain is open to a continuing R with my W. The other half has acknowledged that the R is over and it is up to her to start it again. Therefore, I'm living for me without thinking about how my decisions affect her (beyond the girls). Dating is a little weird idea for me. On the one hand, I crave that attention that a new R would bring. On the other, it still kind of feels like cheating. From the standpoint of dating, my life is in limbo. From everything else, my life is my own for now.

This make any sense?

BD