HD, if you don't mind me saying...she is *very* lucky to have you, because I can assure you, not too many men would put up with her. I have put up with alot too in my lifetime, but I don't anymore. She is bossy and controlling, and yes, you do have to wonder why she acts like she does. And she will use this as an excuse, as I said, to treat you like you the way she feels compelled to. Yes, compelled...and it is an enigma. My sister acted this way the entire time she was married to her husband...16 years. She just was not going to stop. When he left her, she acted like it didn't matter, you know, brave, etc. She broke down and begged him to return, which of course he did not. She went to counseling later and discovered she has such low self-esteem that it actually felt good to treat him the way she did. Nothing he could have done would have changed that. And even if he returned, she would have eventually done it again.
Personally...I have a boyfriend who on occasion woops out the old bossy, controlling stuff and I can assure you, he knows a few more of those and he is history. So when I say that kind of behaviour overshadows the rest, for me...it does. You are way too patient...but if you can live like that and if the other stuff is more important, than so be it. But as someone here said...she will not change because she just doesn't have to and she depends on that to make her feel good...in a weird way. The way she treats you is very unbecoming...and now she really doesn't have to address the sex issue. She wants the ball in her court at all times.
