why don't I listen to my own stories?

[Dom R]

hey there

You are doing great! dont forget that. Dont get bogged down in the tricky/sticky bits!

Some comments from me:
You are getting a look "inside his mind". he's being very open in his comments. It's really, really important that you dont punish him for verbalizing his uncertainty to you.
yes, it's tough to take the uncertain/negative thoughts.
arent they to be expected, though?
YOU have negative thoughts about your marriage sometimes. What if your husband somehow got a tap into your thoughts, and could hear your negative thoughts, as well as your positive ones?
So, be patient with his. Just enjoy the MAJOR MAJOR positive ones

(and stop talking R for a week! )

"You're a big girl, you can make your own decisions"

Use that on him, the next time that he tells you that you "should get more girlfriends". ie: it's your decision, not his. ask him how it affects HIM one way or the other. In other words, the next time the situation comes up of," So, when he went down that path AGAIN, I listed off all the women I done stuff with in the past month," ask him why it is his problem to start with? Instead of defending yourself against his expectations of you, give him some "sass" and tell him that's your concern, not his.

[yet, also have your ears open, for if he actually has some kind of issue/concern of his own. ie: "if you dont ... then I dont feel like I can ..." ]



On the flip side, for "together" activities...

Plus, (and maybe I am wrong) I think that finding random adults to like, is a rare thing. If we belonged to some sort of organization with a common interest, we would have a better chance.

http://www.meetup.com can be one way to try this.
Although to SOME extent, it is more geared towards single folks than married folks. sigh. But it can still be a source of marriage-friendly activities.

I mentioned that I wished we would talk more during the week and he said that he acknowledged that, but couldn't promise that it would happen.

he might have gotten the impression you mean "serious talk". i'm guessing you just mean casual talk. you'll probably get farther if he understands that fully. Dont assume that he understands what you mean; fatal flaw that both men and women make about each other, i think!

Last comment:

My response to the cake eating comment was that I know he is getting the best of both worlds, but because we need to makeover some of the memories and get to know each other again, I was willing to grant a brief period of time of leeway.

You have been incredibly lucky, i think, in that your husband seems to have undergone a rapid and radical about-face. Do not, however, let that build up expectations in you about, "well, he should make up his mind in another week", though. I think you need to be careful to appropriately manage your "brief period of time" expectation.
I'd suggest still not pressuring him, in any way, direct or indirect. Just focus on the having fun together part, and let him decide how he feels about things.

Keep up that PMI!