D@mn it HD, I just can't help it. You've perverted me over the years ...
Your W's comments were ... udderly ridiculous.
Chrome ... who hopes he hasn't now insulted two people in one day
p.s. Ditto what Kett said. Groping the breast probably wasn't the best idea, but so what? She clearly is looking for an excuse to pounce at every opportunity. I'm suprised you even are capable of caring what she thinks anymore.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I want to tell her, "It was just your boob...get over it!"
I think that's a great idea.
I also think it would be worthwhile to let her know that while you apologized, it was because you truly did not mean to hurt her or make her feel violated....not because you did anything inherently 'wrong'.
What a crock.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
I want to tell her, "It was just your boob...get over it!" I want to tell her that I apologized, that it was genuine, and that I will not join her in beating the sh!t out of me over it. I want to tell her that she may think I need to earn her trust back over months and years, but that "her trust" is her problem, and that all I need to do is to be comfortable with the person I am.
The only part I'd drop is "It was just your boob... get over it!" After all, to her, her boob may be the modern day translation of the Holy Land. And she could have all sorts of beliefs attached to that. So... you know... just a heads up...
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I want to tell her that I apologized, that it was genuine, and that I will not join her in beating the sh!t out of me over it. I want to tell her that she may think I need to earn her trust back over months and years, but that "her trust" is her problem.
I like this.
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all I need to do is to be comfortable with the person I am.
That's for you to know, and her to find out.
At some point, you may want to discuss the trial issues she is dealing with, 'cuz, personally, if that guy did do all that stuff? That's one scary MFer. I can see how it might be troubling for her.
But... she doesn't have a right to project those troubling feelings on to you... you can validate her and her feelings. A boundary is to not take responsibility for when she projects those feelings onto you.
I also think your wife may have difficulty processing her emotions before she acts.
That doesn't make it better for you... but it may help you understand that it isn't all about 'you'.... and personalizing it when she gets really vicious like this.
Seems to me, that is covering up some very powerful fears. And that is quite sad to me... I hate feeling scared and sad and not safe... and I can tell you... when I get that way... boy howdy... can I get mean and vicious and angry... kind of biological, in a way... part of me that is pure animal...
I too think you should not apologize for feeling her boob. Tell her felt it because it felt good and you liked it. You weren’t raping her, just feeling her boob. Don’t excuse it, otherwise you’re playing her game by allowing yourself to be on the defensive.
I would dig into what the heck she is doing in her therapy sessions if she can’t make a distinction between her client and her H. I would take great offense at her putting you in the same class as her client’s H. In fact, I would be infuriated and I’d let her know that.
Where in here past does this stuff keep coming from and why won’t she let it go? This might be a good opportunity to let her know that her reactions are off the scale and she is the one who needs to get some serious help. After all, she’s the one making all the assumptions, not you. So where does the idea come from to make those assumptions in the first place and why is she reacting so strongly? This is all her crap, not yours. I’d go on the counter offensive if I were you because otherwise she will have a nice defensive wall for as long as she wants to keep it. Doing nothing plays right into her hands.
Tell her you two are going to joint counseling and hash this matter out.
HD...may I ask, what do you love about her? The way she treats you, IMO, would overshadow all other things in your relationship. This is just a *really* good excuse for her to be mean and controlling towards you...for a really long time. She likes it like that. She really does.
Unless she has specifically stated to you that she doesn't like you touching her while she's asleep.
She has.
That, I think, is where the "betrayal of trust" comes in. The "violation" just pours a tanker load of gas onto the already-burning fire.
And Cobra, I was thinking the same thing about going back to joint MC. I doubt she'd go. After our most recent round of MC she said that, basically, it just brought up a bunch of stuff to further divide us, and that it was a waste of time. When her IC moved away about a year ago, W said she was done because she didn't want to go through the whole process of informing a new IC and getting comfortable talking with her. Also, her "client" is from her law practice...sounded like you thought she was a shrink.
And, by the way, the client's hubby also filmed the act of sticking a little superhero action figure into his beloved's nether regions. I know.
And no, I don't own any, so don't be scouring ebay for large collections Superman dolls.
Martelo: The trip was actually quite great. I was relaxed, confident, and funny. I had a great time with both my W and my DD6. Aside from the sad state of the forests due to the pine beetle, it was beautiful and exhilarating to be there.
