Tucson or bust, part 2

[Kettricken]

I don't know how thoughtful this is, so I hope you're open to gut-reaction rants, too.

Um, frankly, I don't even see why you are feeling so apologetic about feeling her up in the first place. It's not like she fell asleep on the subway and got groped by a stranger. You are her husband, she was willingly sleeping in the same bed with you, you're going to get in each other's space (those aren't pillows!!!). Lots of husbands and wives "wake each other up" in *exactly* that way, on purpose; it's hardly a betrayal of trust.

Unless she has specifically stated to you that she doesn't like you touching her while she's asleep.

Even so, to equate what you did with a husband who drugs his wife, has sex with her, and tapes it is .... illogical, to say the least. If she *really* thought you were capable of something like that, why does she feel safe enough to sleep in the same house with you? She is of course entitled to her views ... but you in no way must or should buy into that. Or feel like you have to crawl for the next six months or whatever she seems to want....

That stuff you want to tell her? Tell her.

IMHO, based on this, you are very very far from being a pervert. I cannot help but wonder what negative sexual experiences are lurking in her past ... but you shouldn't have to carry the water for any of that. *Don't* be "limited by her acceptance".