Is it MLC when they bring it up?

[Steel_Box]

Snodderly, thanks for anything you can tell me.
Here some more info.

Steel,
It sounds like she's deeply depressed and is questioning what she's feeling and doing. Yes, some of them will say something about having an mlc, but deep down, they won't ever really admit it to the fullest extent.

I also believe there is depression. I was depressed as well, I however have seen a doctor and started taking meds to control it. Since then have made significant improvement and understand it much better. In her case, she recently did see the family Dr. and discussed it with him. At the moment he feels that she has a mild case and it is probably being heightened by lack of sleep. I, not being a doctor, think it is probably the reverse.

What other symptoms/signs have you seen? Did something happen to her or her surroundings in the 18 months leading up to the depression?

It has definitely been a hell of a time the last 2 years for both of us. Let's see if I can list everything.
Oct. 2005 I suspected that she had an A due to a early morning phone call to her when she was out of town. (I now believe that there was not)
Jan 2006 In a discussion about a friend suspecting a potential affair by her H, I told W that sometimes even when there is nothing, something triggers the thought. and how I had thought that she had in Oct. (I meant this to be a good conversation on how I was beyond it and didn't believe it to be true. She didn't hear anything except "I didn't trust her") I handled this very poorly, should have just kept my mouth shut.
May 06 I start new job that quickly turns out not to be what was described.
June 06 She took a new position within her Company that requires significant travel (2 to 3 work weeks a month)
July 06 her Grandmother begins decline with ling cancer.
July 29th my Father admitted to hospital for unknown illness. (she was very close to my father, more so than either her father or step father)
Aug 16th Her Grandmother dies
Aug 30th After 30 days in ICU my father dies from West Nile Virus.
Late Sept 06 her new boss questions "whether new position is what she really wants to do?" She was then on a mission to prove him wrong and began to travel quite a lot.
Oct 06 I return to my old company in a new position, better pay, more responsiblity, more hours, more stress - good move though.
during this time we both started drinking quite a bit more than usual (depression?) It was not falling down drunk mind you,(not a defense only an explanation) in my case it was having a couple at night to wind down so I could go to sleep. She was similar when home, I think she was drinking more when on the road though, I don't know for sure.
Jan 07 she starts having affair with coworker - I suspect it started as a drunken one night stand.
April 07 I question her about what is going on with us. She is distant, we are constantly at odds about something, etc. Since the last time i suspected something I did not handle it well by checking up on her and not asking up front. I asked her if there is someone else- She adamantly denies "there isn't anyone, there never has been, ALL our problems started when you didn't trust me back in Oct of 05!"
April 29th 07 upon returning from a trip the night before, she informed me of her ongoing affair with the coworker since Jan.

Since then it has been the "normal" rollercoaster

That is the highlights or lowlights.